The best present I gave myself during 2022 was to reprogram my life 🧠🤓💪🏼🏁!

I worked at a 50% potential than my usual so that I would free 50% of time, energy and effort to invest in enjoying my present life.

Investing in the SELF is not a simple task. It requires lots of time and the determination to say NO when in autopilot we go into over achiever and pleasing others mode.

As a result, I’ve done certain activities on a regular basis which I’ve always wanted to do but rarely had the time for. I’ve meditated, done yoga, walk at the beach, skated, paddle board, sauna, journal, read books, took care of my body, my intellect, my soul and learned about myself like never before 💪🏼🏁🏆!

I kept my presence in social media at the very minimum. Which means that I didn’t have to invest much time neither energy in constantly creating videos, finding locations, outfits, editing, posting and engaging. At the same time, the fact that I didn’t overwhelm my subconscious with millions of social media daily images allowed my brain to rest 🧠🙏🏽.

Side note 📝: There is a lot of unnecessary pressure that we put on ourselves when we feel the need to constantly come up with content or to achieve what others seem to be achieving on social media🤯😰.

Keeping social media at a minimum was definitely a dopamine detox!💪🏼

Realizing that I was addicted to dopamine was a game changer for me🧠💪🏼!

At the beginning of 2022 I was concerned for what I though was a “lack of motivation and passion in my life”. A series of books and practices helped me to realize that my prior 15 years of constant traveling 🧳, every week to a different destination with different crowds, and on top of that being an active influencer on social media had me living in constant anticipation. I ended up mistaken this state of mind which I thought to be my “motivation and drive in life”.

The shift that we all had to go through during pandemic had me desperately trying to come up with ideas that would reproduce the same amount of dopamine in my body so that I would feel constantly motivated, driven and unstoppable.

Not being able to achieve the same kind of “dopamine hit” became very stressful to me😰. In my desperation to recreate this chemical that made me feel so good and without knowing what was happening, my body started releasing lots of cortisol which when not used up in extreme physical activity, it stays in the body and starts deteriorating organs and making us sick.

The Lack of “motivation” mixed with physical pain made me question everything in my life 🤔… my decisions, my actions, the people in my life… and so I thought I was going through midlife crisis🤷🏻‍♀️.

I couldn’t tolerate needy people in my life. I had run out of internal resources to even take care of myself. Having to take care of others would put me under extreme stress and resentment for they would be using up my energy reserve.

Let’s face it… no matter how creative I was to come up with new projects, no activity will recreate the amount of dopamine released in a week of traveling for Zumba or Fitkizomba events 💁🏻‍♀️. In our Instructor world every single in person experience is pure ecstasy!

Only NOVELTY can give you dopamine ! Once it becomes regular it’s no longer dopamine.

The more I kept failing at recreating my usual dopamine hit, the more discouraged I became. “Depression” was too big of a word for me so I decided that I was in a “funk” 🤪.

📚 “Dopamine Nation” by Dr. Anna Lembke and “The molecule of more” by Daniel Z. Lieberman are books that sparkled my interest because I thought that they were going to help me fix my dopamine deficiency 😅.

But the knowledge that awaited for me in these 2 books helped me to realize that while I was so addicted to dopamine I was missing out on serotonin… not appreciating it 😞 … but mainly that instead of trying to create more dopamine, I could control my addiction to it by developing equal amount of love for Serotonin.

Serotonin is the chemical that when released in the body allows us to wake up and have the energy to take on life until it gets dark and melatonin is released to allow us to sleep and rest.

Serotonin keeps us happy about the daily regular life. When mixed with gratitude it generates a sense of Fulfillment and wholeness🥰❤️! It gives you the ability to enjoy the HERE & NOW! To experience pure JOY not driven by accomplishing tasks but by being able to be still and truly present in the moment🤩!

The truth is that I didn’t know how to enjoy serotonin 🤷🏻‍♀️. I didn’t think this was enjoyable at all 🙄. When your life goes from event to event, trip to trip, people to people, you simply don’t have time to be still and feel the joy of the moment. The excitement of the anticipation of the next event takes over any present joy 🤯.

You would say to yourself : “that’s what memories are for💁🏻‍♀️! To recreate the great moments and feel grateful and happy about experiences lived” . But memories are already in the past. They do not make up for the lack of truly being present in our life 😟.

During my initial dopamine detox in March 2022, I stopped any and all activities that would cause “excitement of anticipation” for a week. Including: social media, tv/movies, any planning of any sorts, cell phone communication. Even romantic dates with my captain 👨🏻‍✈️🚫!

I was to replace all this time, energy and intention with breathing in 😮‍💨 the joy of what I could see in front of my eyes, what I could reach out to touch immediately, what I could hear and smell in the moment…. What I could make happen immediately and without much effort. It felt very much like a week long meditation to awaken my 6 senses 🧘🏻‍♀️🤍🙏🏽.

As I sat in my living room to do this I then realized that I had a magnificent display of nature in front of me, which even though I logically always knew that it was there and daily observed it’s beauty, I had honestly overseen it because all what I had been seeing were the projects and plans in my head…. And with that, all what it entails for me to accomplish them.

I noticed that I couldn’t hear neither smell the ocean in front of me because I was indoors. But that it would only take me few steps to be able to enjoy this. Once I took these steps I was able to even touch it.

I was not allowed anything dopaminergic during my dopamine detox, and because I gave myself the OK 👌🏽 not to work for one week in order not to anticipate or plan , I was not stressed out, therefore my body didn’t release cortisol neither adrenaline🤨.

In the absence of all the survival mode chemicals that our wonderful body produces as we go through intense circumstances in life, I was finally introduced to the joy of the HERE & NOW… ta da 🎉👏🏽!

As you can see, it takes all the effort and intention to give ourselves permission to stop being our normal selves, so that we can be introduced to a healthier self💚💪🏼.

My brain would not stop telling me to work, to engage in projects and to take care of things that would be better not to let accumulate. I had to constantly remind myself that the world would not end just because I didn’t take care of those things for one week. Then I wondered if the world would end if I were to not do those things for a month🤔… or for 2 months… 6 months… how about for a year 🤷🏻‍♀️?

If the world wouldn’t end would I be putting my life in danger if I were to stop these activities 😬⛔️?
Then the biggest question came… If the answer to both questions was NO, then why in the world was I killing myself with daily unnecessary stress 😳? Why choosing stress when I could simply smell and hear the ocean every day? Why couldn’t I find the biggest happiness in the fact that I have made that reality available to me and my loved ones with my hard work 🌊🤯🤔?

Why living a life of never ending dopamine, cortisol and adrenaline which is going to keep affecting my health as no animal is meant to live in constant survival mode😱. The body eventually gets intoxicated with its own chemicals of survival and it starts attacking itself as a defense mechanism ( aka: autoimmune disease 🦠➡️ Rheumatoid Arthritis 🥴) .

Why not choosing a life of serotonin and oxytocin (chemical of bonding, love and relationships) 🥰?

For sure we can’t live a life without survival chemicals. Life will always happen and with it forcing our survival mode to click in 🤷🏻‍♀️. It’s inevitable! Dopamine, cortisol and adrenaline are healthy chemicals when used in real survival circumstances 💚💪🏼.

After my initial week of dopamine detox I developed a new love for the HERE & NOW. I wanted to cultivate this ability to make it stay. So I pushed for a second week… and then a third. I kept giving myself permission daily not to worry about having to achieve anything other than enjoying my HERE & NOW (conflicting thoughts would constantly creep in into my head😓).

So I built a wall , my “bragging wall” 🤪 in which I displayed all my accomplishments as a reminder that I’ve already accomplished them 🥰💪🏼🏁 , and that it is OK for me to simply enjoy my HERE & NOW👌🏽🫶🏻.

Every day my HERE & NOW experience became longer and deeper. Spending time with family and friends became a true joy instead of the stress of the mixed feelings for all the things that I needed to put on hold in order to spend time with them😰.

Mobility exercises, daily walks and physical therapy made my body healthier! instead of stressing about exercise to create a good looking body for show.

Having the time and intention to hear 👂🏽 eventually took me to listening to my own thoughts, feelings and fears… instead of ignoring them and seeing them as weaknesses that needed to be replaced by badassery and constant assertiveness.

Acknowledging myself daily took me to releasing anger and resentment that I didn’t even know existed in me😳! And most importantly, led me to the awareness of how to stop myself before I get there again💪🏼.

Meditation and quantum physics took me to recharging my energetic field and balancing my energetic centers which led to reversing Rheumatoid Arthritis in my body.

Having fun doing activities with myself and by myself took me to becoming reliable to ME🥰. I don’t have to fear falling or failing because I know I got my own back💪🏼. Because even though your loved ones are there for you with all their support when you are facing a disease🥹❤️, the truth is that there is very little they can do to change your reality .

I am all I’ve got to change my own reality! And even if what it takes is to break the habit of being myself over and over again, I am now 💯 certain that I can count on ME to show up and save me EVERY SINGLE TIME 💪🏼❤️🦸🏻‍♀️!

I may have missed out on some events, followers, projects, and trends… but the biggest present I’ve given myself in 2022 is that I’m no longer missing out on my mental health and quality of life 🥰🙌🏽❤️!

What was your biggest present to self in 2022 💝?